Life is good, despite boys

My life is really good right now. I woke up this morning and looked at my timetable and realised I was looking forward to the rest of the day. I looked at tomorrow's, and I realised I was looking forward to that too. I have never woken up and been excited for the rest of the day. There have been days when I am not dreading it, but I honestly cannot remember the last time that every day was exciting.

Maybe the novelty will wear off, but I really hope not.

***

I'm surprised I am not more upset about me and JL finishing. At first it was just strange that I could no longer call him my boyfriend, but now the only strange thing is how we don't really speak. He said 'let's still be friends', and I have every reason to believe he geniunely wanted us to be friends. I don't avoid speaking to him, but I can't deny it is awkward. It's difficult to know exactly what to say to him. And then there's the problem that I know I would start to like him again if we spent too much time together. I've always had a soft spot for him, and I don't see any reason for that to end now. Despite him being a really shocking boyfriend, he is still a lovely person - when he wants to be.

I told MG that the 'boys are queueing up for me', and when I really think about it, in lots of ways they are. MT is talking to me again, but it still feels like he is only after one thing. And AM is doing no end of flirting. I never know when he is genuine though, so it could just be that flirting is all it is, or it could be that he's after the same thing as MT, and right at the end of the scale is that he actually does like me. It seems a little far-fetched, so I'm not going to think about that theory too much. There are boys at college, but the only guys I have met who I might be interested in are taken. OF COURSE. Even then, I'm still trying to build up a network of friends before I can think about boys.

Besides, I told CS that I would be upset if JL got into another relationship just yet, and I would. So it's hardly fair for me to do the same. I miss the hugging etc. I need a boy who'll hug me when I want to! There is JH of course. But that's different, because he's gay. It just isn't the same.